Years of my life, and my transition, that I truly believe could have gone so much differently, had I been ... "street smart" enough to walk away from her the moment she said "Hello."
All the friends I lost because she wouldn't "let me go," even though I had the ability to force her, the whole time.
Replies (11)
https://bsky.app/profile/valerie.bsky.mkultra.monster Bluesky · Mar 21, 2025 · 3:55 PM
of being absolutely stuck to her, thinking I have no other options, because nobody else wants me around. I know about being latched onto the second I started HRT, and being manipulated into thinking I was a bad person, because trauma made me feel angry, sometimes violent
https://bsky.app/profile/valerie.bsky.mkultra.monster Bluesky · Mar 21, 2025 · 3:55 PM
I was traumatized, I was harassed and bullied for a year and a half in my job at the time by almost everyone around me, and it sent me into such a deep spiral that I nearly isolated myself from everyone offline for about 5 years.
What 3 months of being at home does, you can compound that by 50
@cmdr_nova@mkultra.monster · Mar 21, 2025 · 3:58 PM
The mental harm she caused, I don't think will ever be erased. The anxiety she creates by just being on this website, is immeasurable. But she will never control me, ever again.
And you can't let her do this to you, either.
@cmdr_nova@mkultra.monster · Mar 21, 2025 · 4:05 PM
Sometimes I still feel like I'm an outsider, all the time. Even being around people in meatspace. Sometimes I don't know how to speak or talk right, so I just try and joke, and I tell the same jokes over and over. I listen to the same songs, over, and over.
@cmdr_nova@mkultra.monster · Mar 21, 2025 · 4:05 PM
And when I go home I sit in my room, in the dark, and I occupy myself with 40 different hobbies and side projects, and I sleep ... maybe 4 hours a day.
When I'm home I'm back in that isolation, but it's been so long, and there was so much of it, that the isolation turned to a comfort.
@cmdr_nova@mkultra.monster · Mar 21, 2025 · 4:05 PM
And, I'm just trying to detail for you, how scrambled my brains are
https://bsky.app/profile/katrafiy.bsky.social Bluesky · Mar 21, 2025 · 5:17 PM
This maps onto a lot of my own experience as well
https://bsky.app/profile/harrowheart.bsky.social Bluesky · Mar 22, 2025 · 8:18 AM
it's good that you managed to get away. many have said similar things about her and it sounds like it was really bad for you. try to take a moment each day and be gentle with yourself, you always deserved that, so try your best, even if you're scrambled from the bad experiences. 🩵
https://bsky.app/profile/edithcharles.bsky.social Bluesky · Mar 22, 2025 · 12:11 PM
Hey as someone with some quite relatable history I just wanna say this thread is thoughtfully worded and bold as hell, it's clear you can speak about survivor struggles beautifully and you deserve to take pride in that :)
https://bsky.app/profile/marykultra.bsky.social Bluesky · Mar 22, 2025 · 1:56 PM
Hey, I’m so sorry. I have some tgirl friends irl who I think might be tangentially getting sucked into the Temple stuff. Can I dm you?
https://bsky.app/profile/valerie.bsky.mkultra.monster Bluesky · Mar 22, 2025 · 1:57 PM
Yeah I don’t mind
