trying to look cool by smoking 40 cigarettes at once and immediately passing out in the arbys parking lot

turning off my phone so the haters cannot tell me that my opinion on crabs is “scientifically impossible”

logging onto the computer to tell a 12 year old he is “garbage” and then immediately crying when he makes fun of my profile picture

loudly announcing to the silent library that i have “solved” the mystery of the alphabet . the librarians are weeping with joy (fear)

wearing a tuxedo to the gas station so the clerk knows i am Better than him even though i am buying $4.00 of loose pepperoni

good to see i’ve been placed on a ‘radical feminist tendencies’ blocklist

sorry sweaty, i just speak common sense and truth which is usually out-of-line for wannabe MRAs

investing my life savings into a new crypto currency called ‘Sludge’ that is backed by the value of dirty bath water

every problem in my life could be solved if i was simply a different person , unfortunately i am this one