It’s really something else that I have to use Sezzle to buy my nicotine juice, because my bank is deciding what I’m allowed to pay for

I should be living my life and doing what I want, for ME

Not some amalgamation of internet sociopath ghosts that live in my head

Like maybe I’m depressed because I feel like I might be working at W*lmart the rest of my life

And it just goes back to this Quake 3 forum back in 2001 when I WAS a teenager, and a 40 y/o internet troll said to me, “You’re going to work at W*lmart your entire life”

And I feel like a large portion of my life has been me trying to prove that guy wrong

And I haven’t been successful

I don’t know if I’ve been feeling depressed because I’m over 40, or because I’ve never been able to convince anyone to stay with me long enough to marry, or because I haven’t changed anything significant in my life in a little bit

Guy at work says I should feel blessed to be 41, because some don’t get to live that long. My relationship issues are a combination of mental health problems I feel like I’ve partially dealt with, and the last thing, well, that’s why I’ve had 47 different instances

I wish I was a famous YouTuber rather than someone who can’t stomach to put myself in front of a camera

You must post, or evil wins

This is the depression talking, gotta be

why tf would I ever question myself and be like “why do I post on the internets”

You ever feel like you don’t really have a “place” left on social media. Like, no community of people, not many or almost no real solid connections, and it just feels like, “why am I still posting on this stuff”

I stg the only people at Walmart are people who can’t drive or read

Just run me over, I’ll take a disability vacation or something

Among many egregious things, the air quality being trash, so much so, the sun is orange and almost blotted out. Earlier in the night at work a father brought his son to sit outside for 4 and a half hours to wait for Pokemon cards while there was nobody else waiting the entire time and I just have to wonder if all that smoke inhalation was worth some 5 dollar booster packs/a 50 dollar starter pack